Cry baby Cry

Do you ever have those kind of days where you just want to stay in bed....or when you wake up in a funk and you have no idea why....and you just want to cry for no reason...and feel super tired, even though you've gotten more sleep than normal? That was my Saturday. I woke up, completely unmotivated. Everything around me was pissing me off. Adam had gone to his cookoff and I was supposed to get up and get the boys dressed, drop Jackson off at Memaw's and head to Huntsville for my much awaited ADPi Reunion. Something that I NEEDED to go to...for myself. I NEEDED to be around the girls and laugh and gossip and see people I hadn't seen in years...it was supposed to be my little weekend getaway.

Then I realized I was 5 week postpartum. I am 30 lbs heavier than I want to be b/c I still have 15 lbs of baby weight to lose and then 15 to go after that to be back to my "I feel good about myself" size. My boobs are huge and sore. I need to get my hair colored/nails done/pedicure..shit, where did the time go! (oh yeah, I have a 5 week old!) I have nothing to wear--the dress I was going to wear, that fit me after I had Jackson, was too tight in the boobs (apparently, my boobs are bigger with Everson than they were with Jackson, b/c my nursing bras don't fit either, my boobs spill over the top of them!) and the only pants that fit me are my 1st trimester maternity jeans--JEANS. To wear to a formal luncheon?! Really? The rest of my maternity pants are too big now (that's good) and the tops swallow me, so I look like a box....thus started my day at 7:30am on Saturday. I just wanted to sit on my bed and cry....and I did.

At that point, I thought Everson and I needed a mental health day. A day to ourselves. A day to recharge b/c Daddy-O was gone, Jackson was going to be with Memaw and Papaw, so I could just stay home and hang with the baby. Also, the drive to Huntsville with a baby with horrible diaper rash crying in the back seat all of a sudden was unappealing to me! Oh, motherhood!

I was also supposed to be getting things ready for Everson's baptism on Sunday. And thus, the cake comes into play. Oh! The cake! I had ordered one from Randall's, b/c, again, I didn't have time this week to make a great fabulous fun baptismal cake for my second child (which really pissed me off) so I ordered one. And once I got in the car after I placed the order, I had a fear that it would be ugly. And I was right. I should have ordered a simple, white, elegant cake. I didn't....oh well. The problem was that when I picked it up and realized it was butt ugly, I got it to the car and cried again. NOTHING was going right for me today...

So I quickly decided to make the freaking cake. Why was a born with a "need for perfection" gene? It causes me great anguish. Why couldn't I just throw on a boxy outfit and gone to Huntsville and said "who cares what I look like? these are my friends, right?!" Why couldn't I just served the ugly cake? Hmmm....who can I blame this one on? Okay, typing this now, why didn't I just go back in and order another, simple, white, elegant cake? It was only $28.00...I'm an idiot.

So on to making the cake...I made a cake. Two tier. I decided to make this cake fondant. Why? It would taste terrible with fondant icing, but hey, I had the ugly cake that would TASTE great to cut up and serve! This was just a cake for pictures. Fine...my secret it out!

The day was horrible. I never did get out of my funk. Everson and I hung out all day and it was great, but I was just Debbie Downer the entire time...I would have been better off just watching TV all day. Just sitting on the couch...nothing goes wrong when you just sit on the couch!

I'm happy to say that I woke up Sunday in a MUCH better mood!